I have been faced with many challenges throughout my life, and I will get into some of them later but for now this is going to be a general topic. Through all the challenges I have always asked why me or will I be able to get through this. I honestly have had moments where I didn’t want to get through it.

I know that I have always had my family and very select few friends that I have leaned on through those times. There were also times that I thought I could do it myself. Not sure trying to do it myself was one of the better options but at the time I thought I was capable of doing it. I took pride in trying to be able to do it myself. I also thought I don’t need to talk about it or deal with it. It lead me down roads that I never really thought I would go down or wanted to go down. It made me someone that wasn’t honestly proud of. But looking at those moments now they also help shape the person I am. Yes I am broken and have been for awhile. Over the last couple years I have probably been faced with some of my most challenging moments. They have caused me to cry for reasons I can’t explain, ponder the question of “what did I do to deserve this”, I have wanted to just give up, I have felt alone so many times even when I know I wasn’t. I can honestly say that I don’t know if I would be where I am without the support of one person in my life. She has been by my side through all of it and has pulled me out of some dark moments that I know she didn’t even realize I was in. 

I am not one to communicate how I am feeling and what exactly I am dealing with. I don’t ever remember doing as a kid and especially as I got older. I just bottled everything up and waited. I also feel that I am a simple person and don’t need much. I mean I have been dealing with most of it myself for 36 plus years. So lately the question “of am I doing the best I can?” has been floating around. And to be answer that honestly I have had to dig deep down. The answer is no I am not doing the best I can. There are things that as a father, husband, brother, son, friend, coworker and boss that I know I can do better. I have honestly failed in certain aspects in each of these roles, and trust me that is not an easy self realization to have. 

None of us knows what the future will hold, and we cant change the past. We can though focus on the moment that we are in and live it to the fullest. Take a moment to reflect on your life challenges and ask yourself did you do the best you can or did you handle the situation the way you should have.